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Are you lethargic? lugubrious? narcissistic? hyperpugilisistic? listless? xenophobic? antihyperdispensationalistic? Are your superpowers failing? Is your blood tainted with the environmental poison of inorganic food?


The can help.


Frequent visits to The allow you to eat with new vigor. A hearty chortle aids in creation  of muscle, bone, sinew, nerve and brain tissue out of the excess fat, and reduces your weight to normal. It takes off the big stomach and enables the heart to act freely and the lungs to expand naturally and the kidneys and liver to perform their functions in a natural manner.


We have devoted years to the task of mastering and honing the chortle to perfection. Our chortles have been professionally polished to produce results that satisfy. We can often cure serious disease quickly. Why? Because we satisfy all your chortle needs.


You will feel better the first day you peruse The!

CAUTION: Consult your doctor about our claims. Frequent visits of The may cause the following symptoms: headache, drowsiness, dizziness, headaches, intestinal cramping, temporary blindness, bleeding of the gums. itchy rashes, full body hair loss, gigantic eyeball syndrome, the condition known as 'hot dog fingers,' seeing the dead, ingrown eyelashes, bone liquification, tail growth, and a compulsion to use the Oxford comma.





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